Day 62 - Poetry

Unfinished Watercolor
One of my favorite poems in college was by Nikki Giovanni. I still find it incredibly moving and beautiful to this day. I used to read it to my husband back then. Thoughts of a younger time.

kidnap poem

ever been kidnapped
by a poet
if i were a poet
i'd kidnap you
put you in my phrases and meter
you to jones beach
or maybe coney island
or maybe just to my house
lyric you in lilacs
dash you in the rain
blend into the beach
to complement my see
play the lyre for you
ode you with my love song
anything to win you
wrap you in the red Black green
show you off to mama
yeah if i were a poet i'd kid
nap you

Day 61 - Beginnings

Watercolor
New beginnings are always tenuous. They are frightening and exhilarating and make you feel both confident and unsure. I am facing many new beginnings right now and will wait to see how they play out. I took some time to reflect on the past three years and could see how far I've come. I'm ready for change and the unknown. In football terms, I think I can tackle it.

Day 60 - Mercy

Watercolor

Watercolor

"I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice."
----- Abraham Lincoln, from a speech in Washington D.C. in 1865, said as he was preparing the United States for life after the US Civil War.

Mercy is the compassionate relief from distress.

No one deserves mercy, but God freely gives it to us which means we can follow His example if we choose to. Next time when I don't "feel" like forgiving someone, maybe I can still extend mercy and be compassionate. The feelings will follow.

Day 59 - Fun

Watercolor

Watercolor of Mickey on skis

Snow days can be so much fun. After working this morning I got a workout in, played with Mickey and painted. The day is not over. It's one of those moments you want to last forever. Enjoying the serene between the daily crises is one of life's simple pleasures. It's still snowing...

Day 58 - Snow

Colored Pencil

I have several projects to finish today, but I can't stop looking outside at the falling snow. It is just breathtaking. Thinking about skiing in it, walking in it and shoveling it. Snow is clean, white and almost cleansing in a way. I always liked that Bible verse that said Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow." Isaiah 1:18. There isn't anything God won't forgive if I ask. I love that.

Day 57 - Relief

Colored Pencil
It is the end of the weekly three day marathon, teaching, prep work, meetings, shoveling and crashing. I am SO looking forward to the weekend. Life is very good right now and I feel fortunate to even be able to say that.

I had to create my spiritual autobiography for my art therapy course and it was a soul searching effort (as it should have been). Below is a piece of poetry I used to illustrate personal symbolism in the work.

“Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity”.

William Butler Yeats, The Second Coming
This is one of my favorite poems and although I don't have the entire piece here, these are my favorite lines and very meaningful to me. Some food for thought as always.

Day 56 - Overload

Watercolor

Worked from 6 am to 9:30 pm plus had to shovel that darn driveway again! I would like to relax this weekend but I'm not sure I know how. Have to complete 3 more paintings tomorrow and finish this one. I am learning a lot about finishing but still need to call it a night!

Day 55 - More

Watercolor

More from GriefShare:

"If grief is natural and is part of everyone's life, why is there a feeling of discomfort when someone mentions the death of a loved one? Why the embarrassment when tears come during an ordinary conversation?

People in grief may avoid their friends to prevent these awkward moments. This is not how it should be. Someone needs to move beyond the discomfort. Be the first one to squelch the prevailing attitude of embarrassment and unease, and start talking about grief.

Grieving is as natural and as common as loving. I want to help make it as acceptable, too. May my healing journey spark healing in those around me."

Day 54 - Comfort

Watercolor

I received the email below from a site I subscribe to about grieving. From my perspective, I found it very comforting. Here are some excerpts:

Society's Superficial Response to Grief

Society often concerns itself with keeping up appearances, maintaining the status quo, and covering up problems, as if pretense will somehow make things right!

"We want everything to be glossed over," John Coulombe observes. "We think it should be tidy and nice."

But life is not "tidy and nice" and pretending it is will hinder the healing process and make it even longer.

God's perspective on your grief is the one to seek.

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the LORD. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts'" (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Day 53 - Contemplation

Watercolor of friend's nephew who just passed away from cancer
Watercolor Children's book
Watercolor Children's book
Watercolor Children's book
Did some work for school, taught a spin class (ride to Machu Pichu - fun!), picked up my lemon of a car from the repair shop, and painted! I have 11 pages of a 26 page children's book done. I hope to get two more done tonight.

I also completed a picture for a friend's brother who's son passed away from cancer this week. (The boy on the precipice - speaks volumes). He lived and died glorifying God. I learned so much from his mother who wrote a daily blog about his struggle with his disease and hers with losing her son. What I'm learning through my art therapy course and grief process is that there is good in all aspects of this short life. Not that we want to endure the hardships, but there is so much to admire and learn from those who struggle with pain. It makes the good times we have that much sweeter. In his honor, I plan on celebrating life this weekend.

Day 52 - Great

Watercolor
It was a great day. We had the Harlem Renaissance Art Show at the college and my students produced amazing work. There were over 50 pieces of art that showed thought, depth and talent. I had a wonderful time talking to my Dean, colleagues and students. Then I arrived home to find my first copy of my children's book. I got to share my good news with my sister and two good friends, one old, one new. I realize I have to savor these moments as they are precious and fleeting. But just for this day, I'll take "great".

Day 51 - Choices

Watercolor

A good life comes from making choices that honor what your heart values most.

Day 50 - Wow

Watercolor
50 days! I wish I had a fabulous painting to commemorate this auspicious number but work came first today AND I fell on my icy driveway while shoveling and hurt my hip again. I need to sell this house as it's trying to kill me. Plodding along in my children's book. Every little step helps.

Day 49 - Exhaustion

Watercolor and Photoshop


Pencil Drawing


Mondays are my killer days. Long, lots of teaching, talking, and problem solving. I am exhausted by the time I reach home and just want to crawl into bed. BUT...I have to prep for tomorrow's class, do my art, take care of Mickey, answer emails and a myriad of other tasks. It sounds like complaining, but I'm not. I actually am in the best place I've been in months. In a word it feels like "happy". Exhausted but happy. To bed!

Day 48 - Steps

Watercolor

Yesterday was the first day I missed my post since beginning the blog. It was Valentine's Day and I went to a party, had a great time and went straight to bed without posting! I am plodding along in trying to get my next children's book finished - an old project that I refuse to abandon. Finishing it is actually a necessary part on this journey. It doesn't even matter if it's published. Finishing it is the next step to working on another book that is important to me. So here it is. One step at a time.

Day 47 - Relaxed

Watercolor and Photoshop


Watercolor Tribute to Billie Holliday

A good day to relax since I have to do work tomorrow. I got a lot of painting done and finished a Valentine Card thanks to the inspiration of a gift. I am grateful for the many people in my life I care for and who care for me. Valentine's Day is a good time to remember them.

Day 46 - Fun

Billie Holliday - Watercolor

Tonight I went out with a friend and just had fun. It was exactly what I needed. Working on a watercolor for Black History Month - Billie Holliday images and Cotton Club. Hope to finish it tomorrow!

Day 46 - Sigh

Watercolor with Photoshop



Watercolor

I worked on a watercolor for an upcoming student art exhibition and finished the changes today. Second snow day in a row which was good because I got paperwork done and worked out for 90 minutes. I watched the Time Traveler's Wife and of course cried a river, but it was a different sob session. I knew I was in the midst of grieving but I also knew I had to be in it to get through it. One more step. Looking forward to this weekend with my son (skiing), friends (going out), church (always needed) and more painting and designing. Life is good.

Day 45 - DONE!

The book is done and is being printed. It is called There Is A First Time for Everything: The Story of Liam. It is with sadness that I finished on the day my friend's nephew passed from cancer. His mother's dedication, grace and courage as well as her son's have been an example to me as to how I want to live my life. This book is dedicated to everyone who has lost someone and has found grace in the new journey they are now on. Here are the pages in order.

Day 44 - Hope

Tonight in my Art Therapy class we discussed the importance of the spiritual in healing and how the combination of spirituality and creativity helps the grieving process. It was like a home run was hit in that moment. This blog, my art and the course I'm taking are all part of the grieving process that I didn't fully allow myself to submit to. It is emotional and oddly comforting at the same time. I have hope and hope is what faith is about. I recently read of a friend's nephew who is dying of cancer and his mother has been blogging about it daily. Her faith, hope and expression of love for her son and those around her have shown me that there is grace in the midst of the storm. I pray her son's passing is a peaceful one. I have learned much from her.

Day 43- Rest

I started a watercolor for a poster for Black History Month where I work. My students are exhibiting works of art celebrating The Harlem Renaissance. It's exciting to see what they are coming up with and the info poster gives me a chance to do something for the art show while announcing it at the same time. I hope to finish this tomorrow and put the text on and send out. Oh, I need some rest just like she is having in the image.

Watercolor.

Day 42 - Blessed

Watercolor


Watercolor. Photographic images courtesy of my friend Ana.

I sometimes feel the word blessed is overused. I am a Christian who is respectful of other people's beliefs (and non-beliefs). I don't always feel blessed because circumstances aren't what I would like them to be, but, today I felt what it was like to be in that state of grace. I spent the day with my son, talking, laughing, crying and watching our favorite shows (Community - hilarious and Rescue Me - funny in a serious way). He was gentle, kind, admonishing in a son kind of way and just oh so smart about life. As he left and I watched him get into his car and drive away, a huge sigh came over me that said, I am blessed...for this moment, this day and this life - even if circumstances are never what I hope for.